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| Source Photo : The ego's bad rap |
The good news is the fact that each one of us, fellow seeker, is probably experiencing the most significant event in his lifetime. Spiritual ego or not, the qualitative leap has already happened : you know that you are not the content of your mind. Each one of us is likely living a unique and sacred experience. A beautiful cosmic event ! And this is not a poetic exaggeration. This beginning of awareness of the Consciousness of itself, at a large scale on Earth, is probably the major milestone in the wonderful evolution of human consciousness on this Planet. Technology and Science are nothing comparing to this huge evolution. Mind has produced Science and Technology, Beyond Mind is producing the New Man. We are really so blessed, so fortunate ! Deep and infinite gratitude to the Life !
This article is about this beautiful tale called human awakening and its corollary : spiritual ego.
Spiritual Ego
All spiritual teachers stress the fact that enlightenment or awakening is timeless. It is not for tomorrow. It is not in the future. It is not in another world. It is simply here and now. Either you are awaken or you're not. Either you're a Buddha or you're an ego. If you think you will be a Buddha, you're missing the point by introducing psychological time and instead of being closer, you're going away from enlightenment ! It is puzzling for the mind ! He starts being more “spiritual”, more loving, more compassionate and in this very doing, he is cutting the ground from under his own feet ! Isn't that unfair ? What is wrong in trying to be “spiritual” ? What is wrong in doing good things ? What is wrong in thinking and practicing beautiful ideas ?Nothing is wrong with all that of course … if you don't identify with the new “spiritual” mind. When there is a spiritual awakening, we start changing our behavior towards human beings, towards life and life situations. We become more loving, more compassionate and in most cases, these changes are beneficial for our environment. They are of course a welcome changes, a blessing for individuals and the planet. But until our personality has totally dissolved, until our mind is utterly silent, what we are doing is just replacing some ideas, some behaviors with others. We also substitute our old beliefs with some less strong ones. Moreover, not all our doing is originated from our core being. Most of them are still originated from our “new” mind, our “new” spiritual thinking our new set of thoughts ! Last but not least, since we are not yet enlightened and we don't really know first hand The Truth and since we love so much our spiritual teachers or gurus, we are on a slippery slope leading us to the belief of many things our teachers say they have known. They warned us not to believe, but to experience what they are talking about. We can't listen to this warning. Since we are still trapped in our mind, we believe first in those ideas and we hope that in some future we will experience them. This is the spiritual ego : an identification with a new set of thoughts, ideas, known to be “spiritual”, “new age” or any other label you give them.
Escaping the unescapable
We've just seen how the Spiritual Ego is almost an inevitable outcome for any spiritual seeker. We can't avoid the mind. Until we're enlightened, we can't escape the mind. How can we break the vicious circle of thinking and deriving a personality from the process of thinking ?“Simple” : alertness or watchfulness is our friend, our Saviour !
How does it work ?
If you have a new “good” thought or a “good” doing, just look at it. Don't think about it as a “good” thought or behavior. It is neither good nor bad. It is what it is. Don't label it. It is the product of this moment. Don't be ashamed or proud of it. If you enjoy the doing, do it. If you don't, drop it. In either cases, be watchful of your doing, thoughts and emotions. Don't forge a new personality out of them. You're not your doing, your thoughts or your emotions. You are the consciousness beyond all that. You are the space in which all those acts, emotions and thinking emerge and subside. They all pass, and you are always here as the witness.
So if you want not to replace an old ego by a new one, just watch your new ideas, emotions and doings too. They are seemingly new but in fact, it is the ego, aka the identification with mind, in another form. Sometimes the new spiritual ego is stronger than the former ! This is really unfortunate to jump from the frying pan into the fire. So be aware of this trap. Yes, acknowledge and perhaps welcome any new thinking or doing but don't identify with it. It is another thinking. Spiritual or not, it is mind stuff. You will transcend it too. Everything you can see, you can grasp, you can understand, is not you, can't be you. So don't identify with them.
Yes, as a Truth Seeker, you are a Spiritual Ego, but your Ego is weaker than your old one. More important, with the old ego, you were unconsciously and strongly identified. With the new one, you play hide and seek. Sometimes you're asleep and you start believing you're your new personality, but a moment later you're watchful of your sleep and you step out of your mind. This way, you replace your old strong ego with an new one who is weakening every moment, who is burning in the fire of the alertness until it dissolved. An you are free from the mind, spiritual or not, religious or not. You transcend all possible contents of the mind.
Accessing the Timeless Dimension
I stressed before that the introduction of psychological time, in the form of a hope of awakening in the future, is just another thought. Like any other desire, spiritual or not, it is unfortunately a repulsive force pushing us away from enlightenment. But how can we avoid thinking about the future ? We stated before that, as spiritual seekers, we are Spiritual Egos too. Our Mind says logically : if, now, I am not enlightened, I am still an ego and if Buddha state of consciousness is possible for me, it can be only in the future. There is no other possibility : either it is now or in the future. This rationale is logic. But Truth is beyond logic. Truth is simple, yet it is beyond the mind ! So the question is how to be free from psychological time ? how to access the timeless dimension of our core being ? How to be enlightened here and now, not in the future ?“Simple” : you're already enlightened ! There is nothing to add to yourself, you need just to deepen the awareness of present moment until you realize your true being !
How can we deepen the awareness of the present moment to realize our true being ?
Each time you're aware that you're lost in your personality try to reconnect yourself gradually with your being. You can for example use this three steps method, which essence is derived from Eckhart Tolle Teaching :
- First stage :
relax and feel your body and sense perceptions. Pay attention to
each part of your body. This automatically shift your consciousness
from thinking. Remember this : Your body is your anchor each time
you you are lost in thought. While you're feeling your body,
activate all your sens perceptions. See, hear, smell and touch with
full attention. This will reconnect you with the reality of the
present moment.
- Second stage : you
may remember Neo in Matrix movie, he was told to “Follow the
White Rabbit” and a moment later the doorbell rings and a woman
with a white rabbit tattoo was there. Following this sign will
ultimately lead him to his awakening from the Matrix Dream. Here I
shall say “Follow your Breath” ! Try not to change your natural
breath pattern, just follow the movement of the air from the
exterior to your abdomen and vice versa. Don't think about breathing, just follow the air movement with your attention, your awareness. This will deepen your
feeling of your inner body and the connexion with your environment.
In this state relaxed, fully aware of your inner body and your
environment, watch your mind. If any thought come up don't follow
it, don't judge it “good” or “bad”, don't label it, analyze
it, just allow it to be and let it go. Soon or later it will go if
you don't fuel it by your consciousness. If the thought raises an
emotion you will notice it since you're still feeling your entire
body. It's beautiful to see the link between thoughts and emotions,
but don't start thinking about it or analyzing yourself, just watch,
feel and let go.
- Third stage : pay
attention to the witness in you who is watching the body and the
mind. You can't visualize or grasp it in your mind. Just feel and
watch the watcher ! This is like facing two parallel mirrors one
against the other. It produces an infinity of images. In a similar
way, the witnessing of the witness is a great realization and an
explosion of consciousness, deepening the feeling of present moment
to infinity ... if I can express it so. In this stage, the
psychological time stops and the boundaries of your body disappear.
You are here and now from and for the eternity and you are one with
the Consciousness who pervades the Universe and beyond.
Isn't that just playing with words ? No, I'll put it in another way in the conclusion.
