Saturday, June 22, 2013

What is the ego ?

Ego Dissolved by the Fire of Presence
Image created by free software Gimp using Noise Filter

Preamble

This is a spiritual, not a philosophical text. The main difference between the two forms of expression is the fact that a philosophical discussion concerns the mind only. The spirituality is existential. It concerns the core existence of the human being. It is all about the self transformation and has nothing to do with mind information. It helps you to unlearn mind patterns not to learn more knowledge. So you're warned dear reader : don't waste your time reading this text if you're not interested in ideas to be practiced in order to transform yourself. The goal is to be more still, more centered, more alert and more alive. Of course you may find some new information in this article, but instead of accumulating those ideas as knowledge in your mind, you can just play with them, try them, experience them in your day to day life. If it works, it's beautiful. If it doesn't work you can forget all about them.
I'd like to stress the fact that all ideas in this text are inspired by great teachers like Osho and Eckhart Tolle, are expressed in my simple language and are colored by my own humble experience.

Definition of Ego

The ego is in general associated with negative ideas like selfishness or to be self centered. But in spirituality and in Eckhart Tolle Teaching especially, it has a precise meaning : The Ego is the Process of Identification with Thoughts. There are two keywords in this definition : process and identification (with thoughts). So the first aspect of the ego is that it is a process, something dynamic and changing in the time. It is not a stable and unique state, it is a process. The second aspect is identification with thoughts or mind. Since the thoughts are continuously changing, the identification with them is also a flux, hence the dynamic aspect stressed previously. So, in spirituality, the ego has no moral definition, has nothing to do with religion, it is simply the process of identification with mind.

Almost in all cultures in Earth, we agree that a human being is not only the physical body. It is simple for us not to be identified with the body. But it is a far more challenging not to be identified with the contents of our mind. All our personal or collective memories and histories consist of thoughts and ideas in the mind. And we believe that we are those ideas : name, education, nationality, religion beliefs, etc. When the identification is so strong, some people are also ready to kill or to die for their ideas, for their beliefs, hence for the content of the mind. So the belief that we are this content is the ego. If you ask someone who is he, he will talk about his name, family, personal history, diplomas, degrees, etc. All that are thoughts in his mind and he is identified with them. This is the ego.

So what is wrong with being identified with the mind ? Why all spiritual teachers say that ego is the biggest curse for humanity today and a possible cause of our extinction as a species ? I'll expose below some diseases caused by the ego, either at the collective level or at the personal one.

The source of wars

Since the contents of human minds is all different, if we belief we are the mind, we also belief that we are different. But to be different could be a great quality if we think at it as an enrichment. But if we start believing that what we think is right and the other thinking is wrong, the seed of all wars and other calamities is there. And this is unfortunately the fate of humanity since too many centuries.

What if we dissociate ourselves from our mind ? What if we consider the idea that we are perhaps something biggest than the mind ? What if we consider that all contents of our mind is just circumstantial, not existential ? In this case the differences between human beings will dissolve gradually and a true brotherhood or sisterhood will emerge from this simple idea. With ego, we are likely to fight each others in cold or hot wars. With dissociation with mind we're likely to be more loving, more compassionate.

A world of automata

The mind is the the realm of concepts, of ideas. Mind loves abstractions. It is a great tool to make science. In physics, for example, when studying celestial objects movement, even a huge and complex object like the planet Jupiter is abstracted to a single mathematical point where the whole mass of the planet is concentrated in its “center”. This kind of abstraction or simplification is a great tool in science and Mind loves it. So Mind use and abuse of concepts and abstractions, even in day to day life, even in personal and social interactions … And this is precisely the curse. Other human beings are no more living, complex, changing and tremendously beautiful beings. For the thinking mind, they are just concepts : customer, wife, husband, stranger, etc. After the first glimpse to a human being met in the street, the conceptual mind quickly provide some label we attached to the person. And we miss the reality of the being. Even at home when we're back from the office or the factory, me immediately attach labels and definitions to the “objects” at home : wife or husband, kids, television, fridge, etc. Almost we make no difference between inanimate objects and living human beings. We don't acknowledge the reality of human beings and see them just as concepts and abstractions. Even worse, we can attach some negative labels to our fellow human beings : wife or husband could be a synonym of fight, a Muslim is synonym of terrorist, an American is synonym of Satan, etc. The reality of a human being is lost in these labels.
This process of labeling trigger also some predefined and not conscious reactions. If we see a flower in the best case it triggers an automatic sentence as “this rose is beautiful”. If someone irritates us in the traffic, it triggers some predefined pattern of anger, etc.
So when we're identified with mind we're no more alive and alert we just automatically and unconsciously attach labels and react upon some predefined mind patterns and we miss the whole life. We miss the beauty of the world, of the nature, of the human beings. Each living being in this planet is a miracle. Each human being is probably the highest expression of Life in this planet. Even if he or she is unaware of that, behind the thick curtain of thoughts there's Life, there's tremendous beauty. And if we're alert, we can see and appreciate this beauty in every body. In the other hand, when identified with mind we're just an automaton more or less intelligent than man made computers.

Personal suffering

We can suffer either physically from illness for example or psychologically from negative emotions. But emotions are just the expression of thoughts in the body. A thought materialize itself either as an action or as an emotion. When we're identified with the mind, we start being identified with emotions too, especially negative emotions. The process of identification with negative emotions is loved by the ego since it enhanced its self esteem. It is the same process with positive emotions too or with possessions. Ego loves anything that is special to him, either positive or negative.
And this is the source of most suffering in the world. There are certainly objective reasons to suffer, but the main source of suffering is all the negative thoughts created or “picked up” by the mind. 10% is perhaps the original cause of suffering and the other 90% is the negative thoughts created around the original suffering. For example if I'm ill, my mind is likely to create or pick up negative ideas like “what if I couldn't work anymore ? Who will pay my bills ? How will I pay my children education ? Etc. And these negative ideas hurt more than the original illness. The physical illness could be cured in few days but the emotional suffering could last several weeks or months.

How to dissolve the ego

We saw that ego is defined as the process of identification with the mind. The Ego is also the main cause of most of our individual and collective sufferings. How can we diminish the influence of the Ego in our Life ? We can step out of the ego "simply" by watching our thoughts and not identifying with them. We are not the mind and its contents. All our memories, ideas, thoughts, etc, are just dust we've gathered during our lifetime, since we cling to them. This dust covers our internal mirror from reflecting the beauty of the world. If we let go all these thoughts and not feed them with our attention, they will no more contribute to the dust. And the presence gained in this process will help suppress the old dust also. So let's be alert to the incessant traffic of thoughts in our mind and not pay too much attention to them. But beware not to be trapped in the other polarity : fighting or not accepting the contents of our mind. Let's be friendly with our mind. It's a complex, wonderful and powerful tool when used rightly in dealing with practical matters in science or any aspect of practical life. But Mind is also a powerful antenna gathering and accumulating many thoughts circulating around, especially the negative ones. So let's be aware and not enthrone Mind as our master making us running after any thought he gathers. Let's accept all the contents and the traffic of thoughts and ideas in our mind, without judging them and without following them either. Let's create some space between us, as a conscious being, and the incessant traffic in our mind. We can just look at them the same way we look at the clouds passing in the sky. We can appreciate the traffic of thoughts, the numerous forms and shapes they take. We can watch the strategies of the mind to get our attention to pull us towards this or that thought. It is a game with the mind. Let's be playful. The playfulness is the key secret to have a still mind. Since what we resist persist. If we resist a thought, it will gain energy. If we simply watch it, it will pass … too … As any thing in this world.

Concluding

Finally I'd like to share with you a personal experience with my own ego. Sometimes I have to do some new exciting and useful project in my life. So I use my mind to set up the project, make a plan, prepare all the prerequisites, etc. All this mind activity is good and useful. But after finalizing all what I can think and do in the present moment, instead of stopping my mind, be still and live and appreciate the present moment, my mind wouldn't stop. My mind has got so much momentum that it wouldn't stop anymore. I start thinking about future, the outcome of the project, the impact on people, on my own life, etc. Or my mind will replay the same scenario of the imagined execution of the project endlessly. I know that all this thinking is useless. It is either speculative projections about future or stupid repetitive thoughts, but my Ego loves them since they generate emotions of satisfactions. For example satisfaction of being successful in this project or being appreciated by other people, etc. I know all that, but I can't help seeing my mind running at fast speed and not wanting to stop. I try to direct my attention to my breathing or to my inner body, but a few seconds later, the mind restart playing the same record again and again. So instead of fighting my mind and trying hard to stop my mind using some mantras or replacing those repetitive ideas by other ideas; or instead of being angry against my own mind, I just try to be alert from time to time and acknowledge that my mind wouldn't stop, that  my mind has gained too much momentum that it becomes non stoppable. So I laugh to myself and try to remain watchful of my mind in the brief instants between thoughts, and be patient until my mind calms down and the storm is over. Doing so, I don't feed my ego, and all the instants of alertness are not lost, they come fuel the pool of alertness and presence in the core of my being. Next time those instants of presence will be longer, the gaps between thoughts larger, the presence deeper and the ego weaker. And this all what this article is about : how to make our ego weaker and weaker until it dissolves totally.

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