I am a spiritual ego ... but I' curing myself

Source Photo : The ego's bad rap

In a previous post,we saw that our ego is the identification with the contents of our mind. We also realize that this identification is the main source of many diseases in the world during thousands and thousands of years. In this text, we will see that we are either fully awaken or we are an "old good" ego. Perhaps a spiritual ego, but still an ego ... ! There is no area between a Buddha and an ego ! This is the bad news, dear reader :-(
The good news is the fact that each one of us, fellow seeker, is probably experiencing the most significant event in his lifetime. Spiritual ego or not, the qualitative leap has already happened : you know that you are not the content of your mind. Each one of us is likely living a unique and sacred experience. A beautiful cosmic event ! And this is not a poetic exaggeration. This beginning of awareness of the Consciousness of itself, at a large scale on Earth, is probably the major milestone in the wonderful evolution of human consciousness on this Planet. Technology and Science are nothing comparing to this huge evolution. Mind has produced Science and Technology, Beyond Mind is producing the New Man. We are really so blessed, so fortunate ! Deep and infinite gratitude to the Life ! 

This article is about this beautiful tale called human awakening and its corollary : spiritual ego.

Spiritual Ego

All spiritual teachers stress the fact that enlightenment or awakening is timeless. It is not for tomorrow. It is not in the future. It is not in another world. It is simply here and now. Either you are awaken or you're not. Either you're a Buddha or you're an ego. If you think you will be a Buddha, you're missing the point by introducing psychological time and instead of being closer, you're going away from enlightenment ! It is puzzling for the mind ! He starts being more “spiritual”, more loving, more compassionate and in this very doing, he is cutting the ground from under his own feet ! Isn't that unfair ? What is wrong in trying to be “spiritual” ? What is wrong in doing good things ? What is wrong in thinking and practicing beautiful ideas ?
Nothing is wrong with all that of course … if you don't identify with the new “spiritual” mind. When there is a spiritual awakening, we start changing our behavior towards human beings, towards life and life situations. We become more loving, more compassionate and in most cases, these changes are beneficial for our environment. They are of course a welcome changes, a blessing for individuals and the planet. But until our personality has totally dissolved, until our mind is utterly silent, what we are doing is just replacing some ideas, some behaviors with others. We also substitute our old beliefs with some less strong ones. Moreover, not all our doing is originated from our core being. Most of them are still originated from our “new” mind, our “new” spiritual thinking our new set of thoughts ! Last but not least, since we are not yet enlightened and we don't really know first hand The Truth and since we love so much our spiritual teachers or gurus, we are on a slippery slope leading us to the belief of many things our teachers say they have known. They warned us not to believe, but to experience what they are talking about. We can't listen to this warning. Since we are still trapped in our mind, we believe first in those ideas and we hope that in some future we will experience them. This is the spiritual ego : an identification with a new set of thoughts, ideas, known to be “spiritual”, “new age” or any other label you give them.

Escaping the unescapable

We've just seen how the Spiritual Ego is almost an inevitable outcome for any spiritual seeker. We can't avoid the mind. Until we're enlightened, we can't escape the mind. How can we break the vicious circle of thinking and deriving a personality from the process of thinking ?
“Simple” : alertness or watchfulness is our friend, our Saviour !
How does it work ?
If you have a new “good” thought or a “good” doing, just look at it. Don't think about it as a “good” thought or behavior. It is neither good nor bad. It is what it is. Don't label it. It is the product of this moment. Don't be ashamed or proud of it. If you enjoy the doing, do it. If you don't, drop it. In either cases, be watchful of your doing, thoughts and emotions. Don't forge a new personality out of them. You're not your doing, your thoughts or your emotions. You are the consciousness beyond all that. You are the space in which all those acts, emotions and thinking emerge and subside. They all pass, and you are always here as the witness.
So if you want not to replace an old ego by a new one, just watch your new ideas, emotions and doings too. They are seemingly new but in fact, it is the ego, aka the identification with mind, in another form. Sometimes the new spiritual ego is stronger than the former ! This is really unfortunate to jump from the frying pan into the fire. So be aware of this trap. Yes, acknowledge and perhaps welcome any new thinking or doing but don't identify with it. It is another thinking. Spiritual or not, it is mind stuff. You will transcend it too. Everything you can see, you can grasp, you can understand, is not you, can't be you. So don't identify with them.
Yes, as a Truth Seeker, you are a Spiritual Ego, but your Ego is weaker than your old one. More important, with the old ego, you were unconsciously and strongly identified. With the new one, you play hide and seek. Sometimes you're asleep and you start believing you're your new personality, but a moment later you're watchful of your sleep and you step out of your mind. This way, you replace your old strong ego with an new one who is weakening every moment, who is burning in the fire of the alertness until it dissolved. An you are free from the mind, spiritual or not, religious or not. You transcend all possible contents of the mind.

Accessing the Timeless Dimension

I stressed before that the introduction of psychological time, in the form of a hope of awakening in the future, is just another thought. Like any other desire, spiritual or not, it is unfortunately a repulsive force pushing us away from enlightenment. But how can we avoid thinking about the future ? We stated before that, as spiritual seekers, we are Spiritual Egos too. Our Mind says logically : if, now, I am not enlightened, I am still an ego and if Buddha state of consciousness is possible for me, it can be only in the future. There is no other possibility : either it is now or in the future. This rationale is logic. But Truth is beyond logic. Truth is simple, yet it is beyond the mind ! So the question is how to be free from psychological time ? how to access the timeless dimension of our core being ? How to be enlightened here and now, not in the future ?
“Simple” : you're already enlightened ! There is nothing to add to yourself, you need just to deepen the awareness of present moment until you realize your true being !
How can we deepen the awareness of the present moment to realize our true being ?
Each time you're aware that you're lost in your personality try to reconnect yourself gradually with your being. You can for example use this three steps method, which essence is derived from Eckhart Tolle Teaching :

• First stage : relax and feel your body and sense perceptions. Pay attention to each part of your body. This automatically shift your consciousness from thinking. Remember this : Your body is your anchor each time you you are lost in thought. While you're feeling your body, activate all your sens perceptions. See, hear, smell and touch with full attention. This will reconnect you with the reality of the present moment.
  
• Second stage : you may remember Neo in Matrix movie, he was told to “Follow the White Rabbit” and a moment later the doorbell rings and a woman with a white rabbit tattoo was there. Following this sign will ultimately lead him to his awakening from the Matrix Dream. Here I shall say “Follow your Breath” ! Try not to change your natural breath pattern, just follow the movement of the air from the exterior to your abdomen and vice versa. Don't think about breathing, just follow the air movement with your attention, your awareness. This will deepen your feeling of your inner body and the connexion with your environment. In this state relaxed, fully aware of your inner body and your environment, watch your mind. If any thought come up don't follow it, don't judge it “good” or “bad”, don't label it, analyze it, just allow it to be and let it go. Soon or later it will go if you don't fuel it by your consciousness. If the thought raises an emotion you will notice it since you're still feeling your entire body. It's beautiful to see the link between thoughts and emotions, but don't start thinking about it or analyzing yourself, just watch, feel and let go.
  
• Third stage : pay attention to the witness in you who is watching the body and the mind. You can't visualize or grasp it in your mind. Just feel and watch the watcher ! This is like facing two parallel mirrors one against the other. It produces an infinity of images. In a similar way, the witnessing of the witness is a great realization and an explosion of consciousness, deepening the feeling of present moment to infinity ... if I can express it so. In this stage, the psychological time stops and the boundaries of your body disappear. You are here and now from and for the eternity and you are one with the Consciousness who pervades the Universe and beyond.
  

These three stages are a way to access the timeless dimension of your being, each time you decide to do it. This process can be done any time, almost in every location. You need nothing to go through the three stages. You're already complete, nothing is missing in your true being. It is the right birth of every body to be in the state of Consciousness described in the third stage above, but not everybody, with any state of consciousness, can go through the three stages. And not anyone who realize the third stage could dwell in it or access it at will. Personally I have not yet realized the third stage. Does it mean I need future to realize it ? No. I'm already in it but I'm not aware of it.
Isn't that just playing with words ? No, I'll put it in another way in the conclusion.

Conclusion

Every time you are aware that you're trapped in your mind identity, instead of dreaming of a future awakening, which is a desire, a thought, introducing the psychological time. Instead of projecting yourself in the future, the very moment the desire come, try to deepen your alertness by going in the inner trip described in the three stages above. Even if you can't go deep and you are stuck in a superficial awareness, don't be disappointed. Every single moment of awareness gained at every stage, even for a fraction of second is important. It is another drop of water poured in your stream. And as you know, drop by drop a dry or little stream become a flowing river which ultimately merge with the infinite ocean. This process seems to need time to evolve : little stream – flowing river – infinite ocean, but it is not. In a narrow vision there is three separate objects stream-river-ocean. In a broader vision, there is one object : different forms of the ocean. You are already the infinite ocean. You are not separate from it. An enlightened person has access to this timeless dimension at will. A seeker can has glimpses of it. To increase the frequency of these glimpses, one has simply to drop any desire in the future, since it is mind stuff, obscuring his inner light. By trying to be receptive every moment, to still our mind every moment, to deepen our alertness every moment; one day, not in the future, but here and now, those glimpses will drown us in God Ocean.